friday, jan 9, 2026

helloooo look who the cat's dragged in. the state of the modern online spaces has become so scary lately that maybe it's a good idea to bring personal webpages back. i shall think of this one as my tiny plot of internet land for cultivating fresh homegrown thoughts (like those tiny plots for growing produce in Finland that they call viljelypalsta).

ofc so much has happened since 2020, great things and horrific events, but i am glad to be in this moment typing out these words with my fingers. the sentences that come out seem unfinished and kind of narcissistic. but you know what, maybe if i keep writing, they will eventually grow into something more substantial? so here goes.

a friend has recently shown me this incredible performance of an unreleased song by Andy Boay (if the timestamp doesn't work – it's from 01:02:24 till 01:11:49), which is most definitely the best song i've heard in 2026 so far (it's only the 9th day of 2026 though). it feels like something that could've been popular in the 80s, melodically. it gave me goosebumps and made me feel like i am still in 2018 (the good year).

in 2025 i have once again struggled to read, struggled to create, struggled to learn and also got into listening to kpop which is more of a type of entertainment and not music. listening to that makes me feel like a child without a care in the world, so probably that was the reason a deeply commercialized presence like that was needed in my life.

i always feel like i need to apologize, mostly to myself, for not being cool and smart enough to intentionally seek out and enjoy "deep" art – for me it has always been something i only do occasionally and with a certain sense of struggle. but at the same time i want to make that activity the basis of my personality – look at me, i care about "art". i am unsure why it's such a struggle – not disciplined enough? not intelligent enough? don't have a habit of engaging with the art world due to my upbringing? still, it feels like something so intrinsic and true to myself but something i am unable to fully access, as if something in my brain is blocking me from becoming more smart and curious. oh well, let's keep fucking around and finding out for another 10 years.

hm. the post is getting quite long and meandering, so i must finish it up with some images, of course. maybe i'll share my four most favorite images of 2025, how about that.

p.s. i have added links to some of my other online plots to this page + an email address for love, hate or indifference letters – reach out if you feel like it, i am ready to yap about most topics at most times.

p.p.s. maybe i love you (haha and you thought i wouldn't make you listen to a sweet kpop song), if you've spent your time on earth reading at least half of this bs – my love for you is at least at 20%, and i hope that warms your heart by at least 20% as well.